We’ve all had days when we were simmering inside our heads because of some seemingly innocent comment that one of our coworkers made. Maybe they said something about what a great weekend they just had. But you know that they only had a great weekend because they passed on their work to you, which meant that you had to come in on the weekend while they got to stay home and have a great time with their friends and family.
Keeping Silent Makes You More Angry
When this person says, in front of everyone, that they had a great time fishing, camping or partying over the weekend, you want to expose them for the lazy hypocrite that they are. But instead, you hold it inside you because you don’t want to make a scene and that makes you even madder than coming in to work on the weekend. And you end up simmering and having imaginary conversations with that person all day long which interferes with your ability to get your work done.
Does Being a Giver Make You Feel Good?
If the above type of situation keeps recurring in your life, then you really need to take stock. A lot of people are “givers” and proud of this fact. They like helping other people out because it gives them that glow of satisfaction. But sometimes, you might end up overdoing this as well. You might end up helping a certain person out too many times at your own expense. And this doesn’t give you a glow of satisfaction. It makes you feel irritated and taken advantage of.
Do You Expect Thanks from the Other Person?
Sometimes, however, you may not realize that you are annoyed at that person until you’ve already helped them out again. This is because you were expecting that they would be grateful and would thank you profusely for your help. Instead, they just gave you their work and went off and had fun, forgetting all about you.
There Has to Be Equal Give and Take
Unfortunately, the only way to deal with a situation like this is to take a stand. There has to be give and take between any two people, at work and in your personal life. You can’t just keep giving, giving, giving and then expect to be fine with it later on. Something inside you is bound to rebel at this and will demand that that other person also contribute something to the relationship.
Learning to Assert Yourself and Say “No”
So if someone is trying to get you to do their work all the time, say “no” or offer to help them learn. It’s ok to put more effort into joint projects as long as you get credit for them. But if, at any point, you feel like you are being taken advantage of, then you probably are. So just learn to assert yourself and say “no” when necessary.
